Special Time

Having had some 'turbulent' times with my 11 year old daughter recently, probably because she has suddenly started displaying signs of 'teenageritis' (even though only 11), I felt that because of our disagreements we had grown apart recently, and was having difficulty finding a way for us to get back together and rekindle the closeness we had before.

But this weekend I took her to Camden Market in London, just her and myself, for Special Time together. We went by train and spent the day wandering around, looking at and commenting on all the weird and wonderful stalls, not to mention the people walking around! It's real Goth country. We chose our own lunch at the food stalls, and I let her lead the way for the day. I made it her day. She chose where we went, and she bought a few things for herself. I refrained from starting up conversations where I thought it might open up old disagreements, and instead made lots of jokes and we had lots of fun.

The day was immensely influential in bringing us back together in that she really appreciated not only the treat, but the pleasure of having me all to herself, and how that made her feel special.

I really recommend having special time as a way of strengthening your relationship with your child.

http://www.camdenmarkets.org/

Success At School!

I recently went to my son's parent's evening, and, for a change, came away elated. Why did I come away elated? Well, it was good news, and our hard work (both mine, my husband's, and my son's) has been proved not to have been in vain. After years of below-average achievement in most subjects, he has shown that he is capable of improving and getting satisfactory results. I believe he has done this, first of all because of his own recent commitment and fantastic effort, but also because of his parents' involvement. When he went to High School we felt we as parents did not have a great influence on what he was doing there. Not because of the school (they are great at keeping parents informed), but because we felt he'd reached the teenage stage of life and didn't want or need our involvement. Well, that proved false. OK, he did not want our involvement, but he certainly needed it. Not all kids are ready to take on some responsibilities - they all develop at a different pace. He was not doing well at school, and certainly wasn't showing any interest or commitment (he never has liked school).

But when we sat him down and spelt it out plain and strong - what you do at school each and every day matters - it matters to your results in exams - and to your future, and can make life a little easier when stepping onto the work ladder - this seemed to make a difference. We gave him some incentives too, like a reward if his results improved. We did lots of other things (see the link below).

Teachers have reported a vast improvement in his behaviour, attention during class, homework, and test results.

If you want to know what we did to support our son at school, go to http://www.chilledparent.com/help_school.html

Rita