'Stuff' Matters To Kids

We often say ‘wealth and possessions are not important’ – true, but personal possessions are important to kids. Young children especially can become attached to their personal possessions. It may not seem important to adults, but small, simple and seemingly insignificant objects can have much significance in the lives of young children.

When I was 7 years old my family moved from Australia to the UK. Of course, with such a long flight and limited luggage allowed, it was not possible for us to pack and take all our belongings with us, and this included mine. I do not recall much about packing, but when we got to England I remember spending ages, possibly months, wondering where two particular items had gone – my toy saucepans that had faces, and my book on how to tell the time, with its vivid pictures which I used to ‘live’, sinking into the story and studying every detail of the illustrations. As a child it is hard to express one’s confusion. Maybe at the time I asked my mum where the toys were, but I don’t remember. But it was when I was 39, when I saw the toys captured in the background of a photo, that I asked where they went. What is surprising was the anger I still felt about my treasured possessions going ‘missing’. It was something I had emotionally held on to throughout childhood. I never forgot about it. My mum said she had to throw them out when packing to leave the country. What she failed to do, however, was to consult me. Maybe I was at school at the time, but a little consultation, even just to say “we can’t take these”, would have avoided all the confusion and unrest that followed.

I recently met a woman who had a similar experience. Her’s was that when she was 10 years old her mum and dad divorced, and she was to move to a new home with her mother. She was told to sort out her room and pack her things, but did not do so, putting it off (she did not want to move). Eventually, while she was at school her mum cleared her room, and threw out a number of things. She remembers coming home and the realisation of the enforced move hit her. She was angry and upset. To this day, she has difficulty keeping her home tidy – she just can’t bring herself to throw or give junk away. She hoards it. It was only recently that she realised the 10 year old inside her is still alive – holding onto her treasured possessions, not letting anyone, even herself, take them away.

In both our experiences, whatever should or should not have happened, it is a poignant reminder that children, especially young children, can become emotionally attached to their possessions.